When you're considering divorce, you might not even consider what the judge's perspective is...but if you choose an adversarial divorce -- and if you and your spouse can't agree on how to settle key issues -- the judge will be the one making that decision.
You might be thinking to yourself, "Well, that's fine. If we can't agree, the judge will be fair." What you consider fair and what the court considers fair might be two completely different issues. You might think it would be fair to sell the house, pay off the outstanding debts, and split any proceeds left over. The judge might look at that differently, and allow your spouse to keep the house, take on the obligation of the joint debt, and sell the house 6-7 years down the road, when your kids go off to college. This effectively "ties" you to the debt until your spouse pays it off and ties up your equity in the house for years. This might be "fair" in the judge's eyes (it keeps your kids in the house they grew up in, and your spouse is "technically" liable for the debt, and you'll get your equity someday), but you might not think it's fair.
You have to remember -- judges don't want to have to make these decisions for you. At least in Nebraska, most judges are "all-purpose" -- not divorce-specific. They may go from hearing a murder trial one day to your divorce hearing the next. They don't like hearing couples squabble -- and even a "fair" judge may get tired of the case and make a ruling that both parties don't agree with -- just to make the point that he'd rather you two make the decisions yourself.
Interested in a judge's perspective on collaborative divorce? Check out this DVD: Collaborative Divorce, A Judge's Perspective
.
No comments:
Post a Comment