It won't be today or tomorrow, but you will return to a normal life. Often, the healing process begins after the final papers are signed. During the process, too much is going on. Each day is like shifting sand and getting through the day is hard enough without the additional stress of delving deeply into your feelings. When the divorce is granted and your routine is once again mapped out, you will find yourself in a position to quiet down for a few moments and give yourself time to think, and feel. During those times of self-discovery, you will find it helpful to talk to supportive people. Here are a few ideas for after-divorce care:
Divorce Support Group
This can be at your church, hospital, or local community center. Divorce groups are there to share feelings, discuss resources, and help you move toward a future after this devastating process. These groups are often run by trained facilitators but the participants are given a lot of latitude and basically run the show. This may be to your liking if you need to hear that you are not alone in your experience and if you learn best by shared stories. This may not be to your liking if you desire anonymity as the group members may know you, and vice versa. These support groups are often free of charge and can have the bonus of meeting new people, which will help you get through some of the grieving.
Here are some resources for divorce groups in Nebraska.
Professional Counseling
You may find a divorce counselor through your doctor, pastor, or a friend. Be sure when you meet with your counselor that he or she fits your personality. You will feel more comfortable sharing your feelings with them. A counselor may come highly recommended, but if your personalities don't click, you won't be moving through the stages of grief as you should. Professional counseling is not free and can actually be quite costly. Some insurance policies may cover a portion of the charges. Shop around for prices as there are several levels of professional counseling degrees charging at different rates.
You can use Psychology Today's "Therapy Directory" to find a therapist in Nebraska.
Trusted Friend or Family Member
You will need the support of your family and friends as you go through your day-to-day routine. There will be occasions where you'll be getting together, now without your spouse. Someone within those groups who you can trust is an asset in several ways. You'll have someone who knows how you feel when things happen; someone who can help you handle situations that are sensitive. One thing to remember is not to wear out their ears. Your friends and family will eventually tire of the tears and complaints. Even though a trusted friend or family member can help you through your difficult times, be aware that their patience is limited. Use the time you have with them to find solutions to real problems, after you've shed a tear or two, to keep things in balance.
Many people who have gone through a divorce say that the stress they experienced during the divorce was more devastating than the stress they felt during their marriage. That's why it's so important to invest fully in healing after the divorce. Once you've made that decision, find the resources you need to heal and make use of everything at your disposal. The quicker you get to work, the quicker you regain firm footing once again. Yes, divorce is the end of your marriage, but it is not the end of your life.
Approach the healing process in the right way and you'll come out of it with a clearer understanding of yourself, along with a fresh new start.
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