Supporting Your Family After the Divorce - Part I

When parents decide to divorce, there is so much more to consider than the equitable division of property and assets. Although splitting bank accounts and deciding who's going to live where are major considerations, there are some emotionally charged discussions that will inevitably happen.

Of course, we're talking about kids and support. When it comes to these issues, the fur really can begin to fly. How can you and your spouse keep your heads when it comes to your children, their support, and alimony? You can diffuse the situation somewhat by learning the legalities. This can often stop the constant debating and arguing. Once you know what the law says in your state, your opinion won't matter much.

Start by getting the facts about the legal ramifications for child custody and support. Discuss in detail what you expect from your spouse regarding these delicate matters. Do so in private if you and your spouse are amiable. If not, sit down with your lawyer or a representative of the family courts to iron out your differences.

However, child support guidelines are just that -- a guideline. You and your spouse can agree to handle support issues outside of the state guidelines.

For example, you can plan for your child's college education in a collaborative agreement, but in traditional litigation, judges don’t have the power to provide for support of children after age 19 in Nebraska. If there is an issue of extraordinary expenses (like sending Johnny to basketball camp), this can be addressed in a collaborative agreement. Sharing joint legal custody requires both parents to agree on activities that parents will participate in, particularly if they impinge on the non-residential parents’ time, but that doesn't address the "who will pay" issue. For example, you can write into parenting plan that any camps or child care provided during the summer will be shared at the parent’s income ratios. 

You are preparing to divide your family life down the middle. Some of these divisions are easier than others. Separating the custody of your children, their support, and the support of each other can be a touchy subject.