How Holidays Change After the Divorce

Happy Fourth of July weekend!

If you are contemplating divorce, one of the things you may not have considered is how your holidays will change after the divorce. Long-held family traditions may need to be altered or scrapped entirely. Family trips to the cabin, traditions of attending hometown fireworks displays, and even simple things like hanging out with the in-laws will likely be different in the future.

If you have children, one of the issues that will need to be decided is how the holidays are spent. In Nebraska, a parenting plan is required to be on file before the divorce can be finalized. You can develop the parenting plan in collaboration with your spouse, or you may require mediation to finalize all the details.

When developing the parenting plan, be sure to specify how holidays will be handled. Will each parent receive a designated "set" of holidays each year, and alternate that set each year with the other parent? For example, one parent gets Easter, Fourth of July, Thanksgiving and New Year's and the other gets Memorial Day, Labor Day, Halloween, and Christmas? When does the "holiday" begin? Does it begin at 6 p.m. the night before the holiday, and end at noon on the day after the holiday? Does it begin when the children are released from school (for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's) and end when the children return to school? 

Making sure that you identify and address these holiday-related issues will help ensure a smooth transition for you, your soon-to-be-ex-spouse, and your children.

Deciding holiday visitation can often be a contentious issue. If you choose a collaborative divorce, your collaborative divorce attorney can help you negotiate the holiday schedule for the parenting plan. And your divorce coach can help you navigate the minefield of emotions you'll likely face as you think about not spending your Christmas with your child this year, for example, or giving up your New Year's tradition of game night, football on television, and fuzzy pajamas.

But remember -- holidays are just a day on the calendar. You can celebrate these days at any time ... and feel free to develop your own new traditions, post-divorce.